Road Warriors

What week it's been, 3 Shows in 3 nights, 800 miles and 2 Hotel Rooms and a Couch later I'm Home...

We Start our journey, Wednesday morning in San Antonio. Heading south on 281 towards McAllen Texas. My Co-Horts are Recent  California Transplant Big Al Gonzalez. In the back is our "Road Bitch". His name according to all the printed out craigslist Males4Bronies ads is Jake Yarbrough. Here's 3 grown adults squeezed into a Toyota Yaris. Yaris is Japanese for "Tiny Death Trap". The Toyota Yaris cannot be purchased at a Dealership, but only at Toys R Us. The Yaris got some awesome Gas Mileage. By Gas Mileage I mean, whenever I farted, it would stink for miles and miles.

Here's White Person Jake Yarbrough performing in English in a Border town in South Texas. He survived because hes too broke to be worth anything kidnapping. As You can see, he's overacting while saying something condescending.

Big Al here, a Consummate professional. He was thrilled to have his name on the Marquee the first time he came to McAllen. He's probably telling a Vitamin Water joke that all 3 of us told to kinda play with the audience.

Our Gracious Host/Booker, Mario Salazar was kind enough to take me Toy Hunting while he was chatting up MILFs in the Store. Toy Hunting is something 31 year old virgins do, to fill the void of despair and a shitty childhood. The armor on the TMNT Mutations Battle Armor are interchangeable, Ill try not to cry too many tears of sadness because the salt will rust up the joints. Take that Vaginas.

Here's some Mexicans mounting an attack on The Alamo, complete with a ladder to scale the walls. Stay classy McAllen, TX. I admire their effort. We were in Harlingen for a Show in a Sports Bar. We had fun, I might be find some pictures from that show.

Here's me exploiting #WhitePrivilege . Kidding, Hidalgo Sheriff was cool as hell. Its always cool getting recognized.....after a border check. I got mad love for Law Enforcement, The more tickets they hand out the bigger my Defensive Driving classes get.

Look at Yarbrough, trapped in the Yaris just like DC Villians in the Phantom Zone. Al was hiding his dick that he kept pulling out for every selfie I was taking. What a hoot.  He were are gassing up the Yaris. To fill the tank we only used pocket change from couch cushions, and take-a-penny dishes. 

Last night of our 3 day border town tour was in Del Rio Texas. Home of the Screamin Shits Football. Team. Okay I made that up after I ate at the venue we performed at. It was a rough night. Thank Stan Lee, the shits hit me after the show.