Private Holiday Shows: Good and Bad

Holiday season is upon us, and one of the perks is getting booked for Private Parties, Employee Parties, Corporate Events and the like. Its easy money and the people are always in a good mood. Of course they dig it when you customize/pander some matieral towards them. Might as well put on a Good show, thats why Im getting booked. Another bonus is that, some of these events are during the day or on off nights. So theres plenty of extra scractch to make. For me it means catching up on Bills. Fortunately on a Friday I was lucky enough to get booked for two gigs before 5pm. Plus the shows were only an hour apart and 15 minutes away from each other.

Here's the First show I got to do, It was for the Fort Sam Houston AMEDD Department. Forgive my laziness for not looking up the acronym, something Army/medical related. They had their employee party at a Dave & Busters. Luckily it was in a separate room and they had a P.A. system for me to use. The plan was to perform without a mic in an open area near other parties. I would've just charged them too for listening to me. They show went off without a hitch, It was a good mix of people, although mostly males. Young and old alike laughed it up. It always cracks me up when I make the workers/staff/servers of the venue laugh. They appreciated the drug jokes/references. After the show I thanked the guy who booked me, got paid and took off to my home away from home the Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club.

This was the sight that greeted me when I got to the Comedy Club. Walkers of every shape color and size were lined up from the main doors from the show room to the entry way of the club. I was booked to perform the Westwood Retirement home. I figured hey, Ive been to retirement homes before and my Dad is 3 days older than dirt and I make hime laugh this will be okay... Right?

When I walked into the showroom it looked like the waiting room of a Hospice. Only Bill Millers BBQ was catering it. I could sympathize, I could only hope my last meal before watching a comedy show in the dark is soaked in delicious Bill Millers BBQ sauce. They had a DJ playing music ever so softly, which in the cavern that is the LOL showroom a boombox wouldve been plenty for the seniors. I meet with the coordinator, and go up on stage. Now, picture this, first two rows empty, its dim, the old folks just pow wowed it with some greasy BBQ, itis is sitting in and Santa is walking around talking to the old folks. Safe to to say it wasn't my best performance, but as a performer I feed off the energy the crowd gives me. (and it wasn't briskit) I was more or less performing at them, than for them. I powered through it did my time and thanked them for coming out. I then helped myself to some of the barbecue and a slice of pie. I could sense that I didnt wow the seniors, but the workers/staff of the home had a good time. The "Emcee" , some rando in a tux told me it was a tough crowd and I did better than most. Now what I say is "Oh Cool, thanks for that, I'm glad I could get some laughs, and put some smiles on faces". What I'm thinking is, "Where is the coordinator so I can get my cash and spend it stupid shit to get rid of my shame.".

All in all, I don't murder EVERY show I do. Only a select handful of comics who have put in their time can and do, do that. I'm humble enough to admit it, and really I still had fun at both shows. At the Senior citizen show, I really didn't want them to clap too much, because one it would wake their neighbors sleeping off their potato salad induced coma and they need that energy for breathing. Some of the seniors were sweet enough to come up to me and told me they enjoyed the show. I know one thing is for sure, If I get booked again by that Retirement Home, I wont open with the line, "Hey there's a lot of new faces out here....".