27th Birthday, P. Diddy ain't got nothing on me.

May 9th 1984 in Ft Worth Texas a 9.5 lbs baby boy was born. That Boy turned 27 this week.

Party started Sunday night, when the last show of the week I was working with Touchee' Jackson and Magician/ Ventriloquist Andy Gross was canceled. Oh well, I could've used that extra $25 on the check, but what can you do. I deposit my check through my cell phone and hit the closest watering hole to end my 3 week sobriety stretch. I go to Alibis, right down the street form the comedy club. My roomie that works there had the night off, but enough of the people that work there and the regulars know me. I proceeded to get a Shiner Bock and a shot of the old German cough syrup Jaegermeister. That first sip of Shiner Bock was like liquid gold going down my gullet, it tasted so good. It brought back memories of my 21st Birthday when my Dad took me and my friends to the Spoetzl Brewery where they make Shiner. For no reason at all it seemed there were a bunch of old scottish dudes in kilts playing bagpipes off and on. It was a trip as the night went on. So I keep sipping some drinks, more people I recognize enter the bar and offer to buy me drinks. Having a good time hanging out, cracking jokes and catching up with some of the other regulars who I havent seen in a while. At one point I was drinking Jaeger out of multiple containers that were given to me. Things like a bowl, dixie cup and what a shocker and actual glass. I met some people that wanted to book me and some friends for a show later that week (Read next week to see how that turned out). After being given a 12oz cup full of a Jaeger/ Red Bull mix, the bartender asks me if Im driving home. I say hell no if he plans on giving me that cup. So I give him my keys and in exchange for the cup. THEN Midnight hit and people were buying me shots all over the place. I indulged myself. But Damn, 3 weeks of no drinking to pounding shots like a freshman during rushweek really did it in for me. I was 4 sheets to the wind, let alone 3. I get a a hold of another Roomie, who said he would pick me up. Thank god for that. I pay off my tab, throw all the cash in the tip jar and power stumbled my way to my buddys' truck.

I woke up in bed at 5am covered in dried out red chunks of corn. Apparently I ate some Spicy Doritos before passing out and threw up all over myself in my sleep. Throwing up from Drinking? Ugh that is such a N00b thing to do. I havent done that shit since I lived downtown, where I really partied. I cleaned up, had breakfast and went back to bed.

When I woke up again, I read through all the Birthday Comments on my Facebook wall from my friends. Standed at home I decided to call my Dad for a a ride downtown to pick up my car. He happily obliged and offered me Birthday Dinner at their favorite local mexican restaraunt, El Torreon. A place Ive come up with some great matieral about. I had a plate of Puffy Tacos and cup after cup of Ice Tea to re-hydrate myself after last nights Jaegermeister assault on my liver.

Puffy Taco was not a euphemism.

As we finish eating a couple my Dads' know walk in to have their dinner as well. Pleasantries exchanged my Dad enlisted their help in singing "Happy Birthday" to me. Picture 4 old gay dudes singing a fat dude "Happy Birthday" in a westside San Antonio Taqueria. I thought for sure My day couldn't get any weirder but it did.

I had to leave the restaurant to perform for the Rivercenter Comedy Club All Star Show, there's something cool about performing on your birthday. People will be happy for you because it is after all your birthday. The show went well, collected my cash and got some more money from my Boss as a gift. I promptly left the club to head to my Party.

I asked the owners of Studio 13 a Hookah Bar/Lounge/Performing Venue I regularly perform at if I could rent it out to throw a party. They happily agreed. So I invited all my Buddies to a Private Party at a chilled out Hookah Spot. My Roomies greeted me with a huge bag with the GameStop logo on it. They spoil me, they got me The Kollectors Edition of the new Mortal Kombat Game. Complete with Scorpion and Sub-Zero Bookends.

N64 kid ain't got nothing on me! (Thanks Alfie, Murph and Todd)

More and more people show up, alcohol consumed, hookahs being smoked and stories being shared. A lot of comics, comedy club staffers and firends showed up. Then out of nowhere Roland the owner of NightRocker another club I perform at all the time shows up with Midget Wrestlers from MWF. That's right I said it, MIDGET WRESTLERS. A true WTF?!!?!? Moment came over me when they all walked in. It was a trip. I mean who has Midget Wrestlers show up at at their birthday Party? Insane, The wrestlers included were The Beast, Ricky Benjamin and the lovely Ms Shay. It was crazy one headed for the bong, err I mean "hookah", one headed to the bar for some booze and they other just chatted us all up. They brought along DJ Bullethead to hang out with all of us. People were playing pool, beers were being drank, things were being smoked and minds were blown. The Midget Wrestlers were in town because their performing the next night at NightRocker. Roland invited me to check out the show and to warm up the crowd before the mayhem begins.

The Size proportions in this pic are all screwed up

2 o'clock hits and Im ready to go home, high enough to hit a duck with a rake. I took it asy on the booze because of last nights transgressions. I REALLY just wanted to play the new Mortal Kombat my Roomies got me. So we head home open the box and start pulling limbs apart and spilling tons of blood.

From waking up covered in vomit, to 4 gay dudes singing to me in a westside mexican restaurant, then to top it off I had Midget Wrestlers show up at my party. What a 27th Birthday party. One I will not forget soon. Who else gets to say that happened to them? If Id stayed working at Best Buy or gotten some Graphic Design job, my life wouldn't be this rich and full. Comedy, you're awesome.

I wan to sincerely Thank EVERYONE that came out to celebrate this memorable party with me. I also want to thank EVERYONE that wished me a Happy Birthday. Lets see what we can make happen for number 28. I got a whole year to plan it, and the 27th was planned in one day.

New Note Pad

Theres nothing like starting a new notepad. Last summer I bought a 4 pack of steno notepads from Office Max, and this week I started scribbling in the 3rd one. Ahhh, when the ink slides out of a pen on a crisp and soft paper leaving your thoughts, ideas and musings on the page. It sounds romantic until you read the word "Pussycheese" on my notes. I have notes on Google Docs, type out stuff on AK notes on my phone, but I still like writing things out. When you fill a page theres a sense of accomplishment that goes with it. I like that, I kinda need to know I'm making constant progress. Its funny to see a pristine notepad thats neat and super thin, with a stiff backing in 4 months turns into something floppy mess twice the original size. I take my pad with me wherever I go,. When I teach class its at my Desk, when I go home I throw it on my bed, till I get ready to work. But whenever I go to an open Mic or hang out with other comics I take my pad with me. Its dorky to say but I feel like a pen and a pad are kinda like my sword and shield. I kinda get irked when people ask me for a sheet of paper or to borrow my pen. New, pad means new material. On the first page I listed a bunch of premises I haven't worked on, and systematically Im gonna go through them and make jokes. As I get laughs from them Ill keep honing, and sharpening them. If I fill up the pad before they're all done, Ill move on to the next one. Ahh Newness.

Old one on top, new on on the bottom.

Back at it Again....

If I admit Im a narcissist, am I still one? Or a bigger one for admitting it and being okay with it?

Ever since I got back into telling jokes late May, I have been making progress at a crazy rate. It gets scary sometimes. I try to channel that fear into excitement for taking the next step, and then before I know it there's another step. I hope the time when I plateau is a long way off. Being on stage and telling jokes feels like, why I'm here. It doesn't pay the bills, but the rush I get after having a great set is more addicting than Heroin, Crack, Meth combined. (I tried em all). Thats what I'm addicted too, is the high one gets afterwards. I'm hooked, Im a junkie for that High. I think its a good addiction/obsession to have. It keeps my mind focused on one thing. Being the Best I can be at

comedy. Thats all I want I dont wanna be the Next "This Guy, or That Guy" I wanna be Alex KOOLAID Ansel. I know for a fact, that if you keep working hard you will get what you deserve, whether its dumb luck or a reward. I also know Dreams come true. I know these sayings are trite, but the reason you keep hearing those sayings is because its true. Kinda like black people yelling in Movie Theaters especially during Tyler Perry Movies.

Two years ago today I went to my first open Mics, One in San Antonio, then later that night in Austin. I had an index card full of jokes and one liners I had written and set off in the search of laughs.I arrived at The Rivercenter comedy club to perform in front of my Dad, two or 3 Randos and a couple of Comics that have become friends of mine over time. I remember getting a couple chuckles here and there but nothing major. After that I went with some friends to another Open Mic later that night in Ausitn. I was one of ten performers there. This is where I got my first taste of the Austin comedy scene. Saw some really talented and skinny comics there. I had a shitty, set, I got a couple laughs and chuckles but nothing major. The next day I check the Open Mics' Myspace thanking them for letting me perform, and this one guy took the time to talk shit about me in a comment. (It was not an Austin comic, just some douche who was hosting that week.) I was taken aback that this guy had so much time on his hands to bash me, a first time open-miker no less. Theres a couple things Ive learned from listening to Hip Hop over the years, Money over Bitches, You cant turn a Ho' into a Housewife and Haters gonna Hate. So did I get all pissy and write a comment back? Nope I got ready for the next Open Mic. I felt a little vindictive and sure of myself recently and looked up the guy who dissed me. Hes not doing comedy anymore, most would say he never did it at all.

Here I am two years later, Ive been on a TV show (albeit local), Getting work with Independent comedy promoters, working in different cities across Texas. And later this month Ill be hosting a week of Shows at the Rivercenter Comedy Club, right here in San Antonio TX. On my way to being a club comic. I have a lot of people to thank for how far Ive come and the success Ive had so far as well. Those know who they are, and Ive thanked them a hundred tiomes over, and wont stop thanking them too. Also shoutout to my fans, without them I cant get High.

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